Final Hours as a Pinares Teacher

It is now Wednesday, June 20th, 3pm. I have two hours left on the clock as a Pinares teacher. I'm sitting in the shell of what used to be my classroom...I can't call it mine anymore, anything I had added to it is gone, taken down...I know that the people who I have gotten to know, the lives that have influenced me here will not be so easily taken down, they will be with me always. It reminds me of when I first arrived somehow. I had come into a room without realizing how much it would mean to me, how the students would teach me, how what would happen there would shape who I was. Now I leave it with a feeling that the next step, wherever the Lord takes me will also shape me.

I thank the Lord that He is with me. I don't think I could just pack up a life without knowing He was with me. That with Him, who is my life, I can go anywhere knowing that He goes before me. That doesn't make leaving any easier, but it keeps me steady. So I shall take action, I shall pray for the one that comes after me, that teacher that will influence those students whom I have grown to love so dearly...I will pray that that teacher will understand their role as a mentor, a friend, a guide, an example of who to be in Christ, that they will listen to the Lord's gentle whisper, that they will give consistent discipline that shows their love, that they will open their arms to accept all that come into their view...I will pray that they learn as I have that time is precious and that what the Lord gives us is a chance to invest that time into His little ones...what a beautiful gift...may we all accept it with honour.

'Lasts'

This week has been emotionally charged - I can't believe it's only Wednesday! It has been a week of 'lasts'. Last full week of lesson plans, last prayer session with the teachers, last weekly Bible Study...

Yesterday we went to the Zacapa's to give a going away party for Eddie Ortiz. He came late in army khakis - it seemed like we were sending him off to war. The main event of the night was to have communion with each other...the worship team building each other up. It was a lovely time of fellowship - bittersweet. They surprised Heidi and I by adding us into the night. They prayed for all three of us - to go - commissioned to give up our lives to worship the Lord. It was hard saying goodbye, I don't think it's hit me yet.

Today helped to remind me. My grade 9 students put together a party for all of the teachers that would be leaving. We had a taqueada and enjoyed spending time with each other. They imitated a few of us (quite well actually) for entertainment! I think my favorite was their impression of Jeff "I'm not angry, I'm just fruustrated". I guess you had to be there ;) However, as all of this was going on I had one student running around taking exams all day. She was leaving school early. Today had been her last day. (I have been doing so well...not really crying yet, but as I'm writing this...yah...I'm done).

She came into my room for the last period of the day - finishing up her last exam, she just sat in my room. I was doing the end of the day sort of thing...marking papers, getting organized. She came around and just gave me the biggest hug and then tried to run away - I guess she also doesn't like being emotional. I didn't let her leave like that. I won't say what we said, but it impressed on me what the students feel at the end of each year...I know that I'm not like teachers I had back when I was in school...the students here don't hesitate to ask you to their house, to their birthday parties (I can't imagine doing that to any of my highschool teachers)...they want to know you, to be your friend. These students have learned how to let go early in life. They've had to each year as their new found friends have left...and yet they still open their hearts the next year. What a lesson. I love my students so much, I love how open they are. My prayers are that they will receive the One who will never leave them, the One who always goes before them, carries them, corrects them, knows them, loves them.

I miss Maria already...Thank You Lord, I know I'll see her again!